Like a butterfly…In the darkness and constrictive place that I have been… I have been growing and changing…finding my true colors in life…finding my wings to fly into a new…and brighter life…
Yesterday was painful…tears flowed like the gates lifted from a dammed up lake…both mine and others…it was my last day…and good-byes were said…often though not a good-bye…but here is my email address…keep in touch…post lots of pictures to facebook…
As much as technology has its downside…it is in times like this…that I am so grateful to be in an age where across and around the world is only a keystroke away…Whatsapp is an app that has been an integral part in keeping in touch with my son and of course, Mr. P….psst…and you can call with no additional fees…share photos and video chat…
Grief is the body/mind/soul’s natural response in losing someone or something that important to you…and the way we grieve may be different…there is no right or wrong way…
For me…I find that the quickest way to walk through it…is to feel the pain…embrace it… if you will…walk through it…cry…scream…pound the bed…if you don’t allow the feelings and emotions to come through and just cover them up or push them down through alcohol, drugs or any other means…the emotional wound does not heal…
Some remnants of grief may never go away…and we will carry with us forever…a scar that may always be tender to the touch…the emotions are like waves…sometimes they will be calm and sometimes comes crashing in…and all we can do is learn to swim…I think that this quote explains it most eloquently…
“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be broken, and the bad news is that you never get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t heal back up. And you come through. It is like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly…that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp” ~Anne Lamott
After walking through the initial pain for leaving…I came to a place of gratitude…so thankful to have experienced so much love and friendship…how many people leave a job with only happiness that they don’t have to work at that job anymore… I am blessed to know that I am not losing friends…I can keep them close…through text…calls…Facebook…and whatever means necessary…time and distance will change the dynamics…the shapes of the friendships…
Through the pain of change…comes so much more…my friends with their love and support are sending this butterfly off to see the beautiful world that awaits…and they will be able to experience the wonderful world through my eyes…I am taking them all with me in my heart
This was not where I had thought I would go in this post, when I started…but Mr. P is experiencing his own day of grieving with the changes that my coming has evoked…not that either of us would want to change anything…just part of the process…
Remember the story of the boy who helped cut a butterfly out of its cocoon…
The butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.
It never was able to fly…
As the boy tried to figure out what had gone wrong his mother took him to talk to a scientist from a local college. He learned that the butterfly was SUPPOSED to struggle. In fact, the butterfly’s struggle to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly would never, ever fly…it is often our struggles that make us stronger.”
Threads of Thought 