Going Back Down…

I left my base camp on journey to my personal Mt. Everest…not only did I leave the base camp…but got on a plane and left the continent…

There was the most fabulous pre-wedding family celebration with the love, incredible food and all the liquid happiness that I could imbibe…should I mention the lemon cheesecake and chocolate mousse cake…the slippery slope…the rabbit hole…I didn’t even need to walk down…just slide all the way downhill in one quick “swoosh”…

I would not have changed one second of the next few days…most people it would have just been a delightful evening…as an HSP it was overstimulating and overwhelming…alcohol and food always helps the sensory overload…which is why I am here facing this mountain in the first place …all the time I can remember I have coped with overstimulation and high sensitivity…food as the main addictive substance that I have used for soothing and self-protection…but not the only tranquilizing I have used in the past…plenty of unhealthy methods and behaviors to salve the “uncomfortableness” of life…

• When I am overwhelmed by emotions (whether mine or others)
  • I am in emotional pain and feel frustrated, anxious, or depressed
  • My feelings are hurt
  • I feel uncomfortable in my own skin
  • I feel emotionally unsafe
  • I feel criticized, blamed, or rejected
  • I am isolating and need confidence
  • I am tired and need an energy boost
  • I want to escape and shut out the world

Addictions are a high price to pay for dealing with sensory overload and I have done so much better in my current place of safety, peace, and calm…as Empaths and HSP’s we live in this constant state of vulnerability and often are at the mercy of the daily circumstances of life…in the constant barrage of stimuli we are unable to find the peace and quiet that is necessary for our lives…

Without the tools to navigate the bombardment…we often succumb to the maladaptive coping mechanisms of the “pleasure fix” (the slightly nicer sounding word for addiction) of our choice…sugar √, caffeine√, nicotine, or a behavior like overeating√, shopping√, gambling, watching TV for hours √, internet surfing√ or video gaming, risky behavior, checking out our phones constantly√, exercise addiction, and social media addiction…until we slide down that dark, gloomy, depressing hole of “suck”…

Childhood trauma and/or negative experiences also plays a part in some addictions…physically creating some anomalies in the growing brain that may result in cognitive, behavioral, and social impairments…I sure am glad our brains have neuroplasticity…

I have studied science, spirituality, read hundreds, maybe thousands of books on self-improvement, psychotherapy, therapists, and any other method of recovery that I came across on this journey of self-knowledge and healing for the last millennium…well, maybe not that long… but a least most of my life…

I have come a long way…and I am enormously proud of every knot in the tapestry of my life…every crack…every scar…there is still much to experience… life is a fantastic continuous journey of learning and growing…

The mountain is still in front of me…waiting to be scaled…to be conquered…there is a life to be lived on the other side…although there are no guarantees…whatever I can do to extend the longevity and enjoyment of my remaining life is important to me…now that I found my sweetest Mr. P… we have adventures to seek…and a shared life to savor…I have a novel to write and fine art photographs to create…family and friends to embrace…

What is the plan forward…a good question is what I need to do differently than I’ve done before…

Day 01 – Today I fast to give my body a rest…reset and detox…luckily for Mr. P he’s on a business trip and won’t need to deal with any grumpiness…so it’s lots of water and whatever it takes to get through the day without eating…

There is a beautiful view and ecstatically happy emotions to be experienced at the top…but it is in the journey that I will be most content…

“It is not the mountain that we conquer, but ourselves.”…

Sir Edmund Hillary

Much happiness, love, and magic for your day and life…Renée❣