I have a Secret…

Life is too short to start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday.

Bumppy.com

We all feel broken…

Does our brokenness ever heal…as I travel on this journey of growing healthier physically…with the important supporting emotional and spiritual advancement…I am finding that we (I) can recover…it is a choice…not everyone chooses to heal…wounds do contain manipulative values…

I have chosen not to remain a victim of my past…patience not being a strong suite…the process can be very irritating…I think that I have done the work for a particular issue and then out of nowhere…it pops it’s head up…remember the carnival game whack-a-mole…it feels like that on most days lately…

Not an instantaneous process…conscientious, continuous, and painstaking work…since my magic wand does not work in this realm…I must choose daily to move forward…toward my dream of freedom from the past…away from all the memories that keep me tied to the past with fears that as a human traveling this big blue sphere…I am not enough…always trying to prove my worth to the world…

I know where it came from…one of my first memories…was my father telling me that he wished that I had been a boy...I was the first in our family of six…(in his later life, my father was deeply sorry and apologetic about his earlier treatment of the family) …yet the unconscious beliefs weave their steel-like tendrils around my thoughts and like a boa constrictor…tighten themselves until the painful emotions cause me to relent with depression, uncertainties, worries, doubts, fears, and ambiguities…

In this world of illusion, I can become lost and imprisoned, a slave…past traumas behave like magicians…weaving spells that I can get lost in… a dark dense fog that seems impenetrable…I get lost sometimes…

Just because I have the emotion/thought does not mean that I must buy into it…I don’t have to accept it as reality…thoughts are automatic…we can choose not to accept them as concrete “truth”…but as the wispy morning mist that the sun dissipates once it rises…

“The place of true healing is a fierce place. It’s a giant place. It’s a place of monstrous beauty and endless dark and glimmering light. And you have to work really, really, really hard to get there, but you can do it.” – Cheryl Strayed

There are two actions…well maybe three…that I have found helpful for moving into the sunshine…1) being mindful…in the moment. 2) engaging in what is important to me. 3) affirmations (sounds dorky, right).

Meditating and being mindful has been a lifesaver…instead of reliving past mistakes and hurts or imagining all the ways that life can pull the rug out from under me again…both are out of my control…and I have lost so much precious time and beauty already…I will not lose more…

My passion for photography…my dream of being an artist…getting lost in learning, improving…the process and my projects…bring such happiness that everything else fades…what is your dream…your passion project that you can lose yourself in…

Knowing that I am lacking in self-love…my feelings of unworthiness…I have been studying on how to change that…affirmations may be a part of a solution…those emotions of feeling unlovable have dug deep trenches in my brain…choosing to fill those neural pathways with little love thoughts…layer upon layer until the water doesn’t flow easily in that direction anymore…

 Because the truth is, we are all broken in places

Unlike this elephant, whose tusks once broken…will stay broken…we can heal… “We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.” – Marianne Williamson

“The sun shall always rise upon a new day and there shall always be a rose garden within me. Yes, there is a part of me that is broken, but my broken soil gives way to my wild roses.” – C. JoyBell C.

The secret is…there is Hope…there is a future

We are all damaged. We have all been hurt. We have all had to learn painful lessons. We are all recovering from some mistake, loss, betrayal, abuse, injustice, or misfortune. All of life is a process of recovery that never ends. We each must find ways to accept and move through the pain and to pick ourselves back up. For each pang of grief, depression, doubt, or despair there is an inverse toward renewal coming to you in time. Each tragedy is an announcement that some goodwill indeed come in time. Be patient with yourself.” 

Bryant McGill

Color within the Darkness…Hope Arising

Lots of love, laughter and music (and magic)❣

Author: Renée E.

Storytelling Photographer and Fine Art Conceptional Artist...Creating magic from the ordinary

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