Not My Monkey…Not My Circus

I almost laughed out loud when my therapist spoke those words aloud…I had been upset because I had been trying to control something/someone that I had no control over…being an Empath has always muddied the waters by feeling the emotions of others …always devoting my precious energy to trying to thinking, ruminating over and over …trying to control situations that I had no business trying to manage…partly to make everyone happy and in part, trying to control out of fear …an old childhood trauma reaction

“Not my circus” is code: you are not the ringmaster here. You can watch the show, and certainly decide whether you stay in that tent, but you cannot control what happens there. Learning which circus is yours can diminish your stress remarkably. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/depression-management-techniques/201412/not-my-circus-not-my-monkeys

Just love that passage…Backing off and relaxing the grip on the need to control everything and everybody within my sphere of influence feels like taking gulping in a huge breath of air after I’ve been holding my breath for eons…or what feels like eons

It’s never to late to learn better ways to navigate life…even if I was told that it’s “a little late to be learning” how to travel this plain of existence in a slightly healthier manner …or in my case, I just want my life journey to be happier and more filled with joy with the time that I have available …much better way to be available to give love to those who need it than from a depressed and sad place …

The recent path has been passing rather rapidly …the time feels long when I am in the work but the last few weeks …a down hill runaway train feels like a more apt description …just raise my hands and scream …I heard you should do that on a roller coaster to release the fear😂

I realize that there is still a decent amount of work to do to step off the brakes of life …I’m still ok with that …progress is progress and any amount is going in the right direction …so on I go


“Go back?” he thought. “No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!” So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.”

 J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

As I continue to work on becoming a more balanced empath and controlling my own circus of magical unicorns, dragons and friendly lions …not worrying about what I cannot control and shifting to what joyful life I can create …there is still the view of the mountain of losing weight in my sight…

I took a break for a few months to find some balance and work at removing the rocks and boulders that kept tripping me up …I’m ready to try again …a firm believer that when you’re ready the teacher comes or the path is revealed …this morning was an “aha” moment …

There are hundreds…thousands of ways that the diet industry and every “Tom, Dick and Harry” suggest is the best way to lose weight and be healthy …the scientific community changes it’s opinion right and left also …and I’ve tried almost every single one of them …ashamed of the money and energy seemingly wasted on the endeavor …past is past

Anyway…back to this morning …talking to my friend that has been struggling right along beside me …she told me about her sister that had lost over 100 pounds in less than a year …and about the same age bracket …a light blinked on…

I had been reading an Instagram account of a younger woman who had followed the same basic principles …but I was skeptical that it would work for a post menaposual woman …those pesky hormones and all that …but here was a perfect example that the simplest solution might be the answer …

Both of these women did the same basic things … 1) Each day when they reached their calorie allotment, they quit eating. No food restrictions or special types of food. 2) Exercise. One 30 minutes of treadmill walking and the other an hour of fast walking. No special equipment. Just moving. 3) Tracking weight…one recorded their weight daily and the other weighed once a week.

So that is the plan to start climbing again …I’m rather excited to see what I can do…70 days till home USA

“Wouldn’t it be powerful if you fell in love with yourself so deeply that you would do just about anything if you knew it would make you happy? This is precisely how much life loves you and wants you to nurture yourself. ~Alan Cohen

Sending the gift of love and laughter…a peaceful heart filled with joy and sprinkled with the magic of a life❣

Walking the Path…

When I started writing about my weight loss journey…little did I know that it would take me through this dark journey…and never would have thought about sharing…but I do so in the hope that it may be a guiding star in someone else’s darkness…

I cry almost every day, right now …and often feel like I have no skin and my innermost being is raw … screaming internally with every breath of air…irrationally I am not depressed…I know that there is an end…this is only the beginning to a beautiful ending …this is the beauty of the darkness

 When you feel like you need to cry, when you want to just get it out, relieve some of the pressure from the inside – that is true pain. Because no matter how hard you try or how bad you want to, you can’t. That pain just stays in place. Then, if you are lucky, one small tear may escape from those eyes that water constantly. That one tear, that tiny, salty, droplet of moisture is a means of escape. Although it’s just a small tear, it is the heaviest thing in the world. 

Chase Brooks

The analogy that comes to mind is the treatment needed for third degree burns …my past traumas caused damage to the very depth of my being …I hadn’t realized the severity …I numbed the pain to survive…the best way I could …anaesthetizing the deep inner wounding and brokenness in whatever way I could manage… now the scar tissue must be scrubbed clean …and it hurts like the dickens …

Instinctively I knew that this healing would be painful …I humbly submitted to God that I would walk the path …it is my “valley of death” that I am walking through …not to live in or die here …but to walk through …releasing the infectious thoughts and beliefs that have kept me small and hidden (out of fear) …definitely, “It would be easier to keep playing life without being whole …it is done all the time …but that is not what I choose …

My first session with the a registered clinical psychologist and pastoral therapist is still about 10 days away …I am responsible for my own life and have been experimenting with spiritual practices to find what works for me …EFT tapping helps with anxiety …many people swear by its weight loss attributes … I haven’t gone that far with it yet definitely helps in several ways for me…

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience”

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

EFT Tapping has been used successfully in PTSD survivors … a lot like acupuncture without the needles …EFT uses fingertip tapping to apply pressure to the meridian points …points in our body which the Chinese believe that our energy flows through …

There are several steps …but the one that spoke to me first was the “setup phrase”… a common setup phrase is: “Even though I have this [fear or problem], I deeply and completely accept myself.” …affirmations are about what we want to become … not acknowledging where we are and loving ourselves in spite of those imperfections …

So much of my issues stem from not knowing how to love myself …something I never learned as a child to do …that statement I deeply and completely accept myself” along is very healing …self-acceptance even when I am not that “perfect” version of myself I feel I need to be to be accepted and loved …EFT tapping has worked for me in shorting the overload of anxiety when I use it …

Learning to heal the inner child …is my biggest challenge …. “adulting” is not something I really learned to do well …I had no role models …and my parents were unable to provide the knowledge I needed to navigate the world due to their own traumas …and being kept secluded in the cult” gave me no other options to come across any …

“When our emotional health is in a bad state, so is our level of self-esteem. We have to slow down and deal with what is troubling us, so that we can enjoy the simple joy of being happy and at peace with ourselves.” ― Jess C. Scott

Today I completed a YouTube Video Yoga for trauma healing …a gentle yoga not focused on hard poses to master …a way to safely connect with my body …slowly starting to release the lower vibrational energy that I have stored in my body …helpfully liberating tension

That is how I view the extra weight that I carry with me …a lower vibrational energy that I stored with every bite of food that I used to stuff anger, hurt, fear and all the other negative emotions and feelings that food helped me to manage in a more societal acceptable way …

“The fact is, all of us are living with the invisible wounds of some kind of war. Yoga helps you to let go of the things that don’t serve you anymore.”
Dan Nevins, yoga ambassador and US Army veteran

Tomorrow will be a new day …new hope …a gift to be opened with grace and gratefulness …this is not the end, only the beginning…there is a reason that I wear a butterfly tattoo🦋

Across the miles ..I send you love…with prayers for all the laughter and magic you can hold❣

Conversations…My Dragon & I

“Don’t fight your demons. Your demons are here to teach you lessons. Sit down with your demons and have a drink and a chat and learn their names and talk about the burns on their fingers and scratches on their ankles. Some of them are very nice.”

Charles Bukowski

Making peace with one’s self is so much easier than making war…well, maybe not easier but less bloody…Incredibly adverse to the hatred that it takes to kill something…even the thought of killing something within myself was abhorrent…

So how to reframe it all… losing weight…which is letting all the trapped trauma go…self-sabotaging…self-hatred…to lose weight without limited massive willpower… and keep it off means changing something deep within myself…so here I am taking the time to talk to my big personal dragon of self-sabotage…why does he decide to burn down every attempt to cross this mountain…

My Protector and I

It made no sense when I was so confident that this was the time… Determination was at an optimum level…I was going to conquer the mountain of weight loss come hell or high water…becoming healthier, more confident, and happier…and then I quit…BLOP…sat right now and quit…doing the same thing over and over gets exhausting…

During introspection, I realized that I had been in a situation that triggered all of my fears of being “not safe”…being “pretty” when I was younger brought attention that was dangerous and hurtful…the fear (Fear is a powerful, deeply wired reaction that is designed to keep us safe from perceived threats) of being taken advantage of again caused the “inner child” to freak out again…huge anxiety…

There are several reasons (smaller dragons) that have caused me to sabotage my weight loss…feeding worry and anxiety… a way to soothe, rewarding myself and suppressing feelings…but the biggest one is fear in all its incredible glorious form…

Recognizing it is the first step…the fear is irrational…I am in a safe place with a man that loves me for who I am… understands and is supportive of where I’m at…acknowledgement has been a good beginning…I have started talking with a therapist and we’ll see where that leads and if it is helpful…

The trauma of when I was younger apparently was horrible enough that my self-protection has blocked my memory of most of my life between the ages of 5 and 18…our brains are such beautiful… I don’t know if I even need to remember or if I ever will…and that’s ok…I have forgiven and I am no longer a victim…my focus is staying mindful and being in the moment…”sucking the juice out of every moment that I am blessed with”…

Now it is taking one step at a time…loving myself and the dragon that I live with seems to be a smart step right now…gently acknowledging the fear and learning to love myself…

Daily self-love is being gentle with myself…focusing on doing at least one productive thing per day that I can do towards my goal…living the fact that being healthy makes me less vulnerable, not more…

Helpful Book-The Mountain

This week I have been Intermittent Fasting 16/8…it’s easy and I enjoy the feeling of not being weighed down with food or worrying about what to eat…even though there are periods of hunger…I have made an appointment with my nutritionist for Friday…I will meet with her once a week for support…

Making friends with my dragon so we can learn to fly together …my dragon and I

Much love, laughter, and magic for your day❣

135 Days…

Back home from a cold and rainy forest holiday in Hogsback (strange name with unknown origin)…supposedly the place that inspired JRR Tolkien… nestled in the Amatola Mountain range and housing the oldest forest in South Africa…

With no wi-fi or internet…you can lose yourself in the pure magic…the earthy smells and fragrances of the natural world triggering old memories, and creating new ones…the heavy, heady smell of damp forest…

It sits on your shoulder and seeps into your senses… excited to see the colors and smell of …I am missing the crisp air and the vibrate reds, and oranges so beautifully mixed with muted shades of yellow and brown…such a kaleidoscope of color…my heart sang…and I still reel with the beauty that is just too exquisite to be able to find the right words…

“Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let things go.” ~Unknown

An apt quote for the mission that I am on to let go of the unhealthy part of myself…physically and mentally…

A celebration before we left…for Mr. P’s birthday at a restaurant called Natti’s Thai Kitchen

Why can I never remember the effects of food and drink that are so detrimental to me…in the suspended moments of enjoyment with great friends and wonderful food…there was definitely too much alcohol imbibed by me…

I don’t normally drink alcohol…but it difficult for me in a social situation to abstain totally…normally one glass is sufficient…but that night everyone brought alcohol…gin and several bottles of wine…after one…it was too easy to allow my glass to keep being filled…

A fact of life…our bodies weaken with age…and I am working harder at trying to find a happy and healthy balance…drinking more than an occasional glass of wine is not on the list any more…but I get caught up in the frivolity and joy…I wasn’t prepared for the situation…

With being highly sensitive…the next day I reaped the effects…hormonal imbalance…depression is the worst…teary eyed…extra sensitive to every word that was spoken to me…morose and definitely not motivated to do anything…

At least I realized what was happening…and there is not much that I can do, except wait it out…but it always feels like a wasted day…miserable…you would think it would be a huge red flag…memory is so not reliable sometimes…

Difficult to eat correctly and track…motivate myself to exercise…all the routines that provide optimum living for me…Didn’t really have time to dwell on it much…getting ready to leave for Hogsback…such a needed break…

I ground in Nature…it is the most healing place that I can be…and the forest is probably the number 1 place that I love to just get lost in…wrapped in the soothing arms of Mother Earth…Stepping into a forest is like walking through a gate…I can release all the fuss and stress behind…to be greeted with peace and fragrant nature.

I didn’t track and was worried that I would gain weight…but the 80/20 rule applied…stress is outlawed during breaks from “real” life…we walked… hiked…over 10,000 steps per day…up and down…carrying photographic equipment…

Didn’t learn my lesson…Gin Tasting for me…

Don’t you just love the hat🤣

Was it worth it…I came back with a 2 lb. loss…so in that respect…it did not hurt my progress…but I don’t enjoy the punishment that ensues… my feelings of peace and happiness…

I made a choice…I don’t think I’ll be a teetotaler… but limiting myself to ONE drink is doable…there were other choices that hung on the coattails of that one…choosing to give up processed wheat and sugar…for a couple of weeks to confirm if my sensitivities are affected… there are a few studies that show that refined sugar and wheat have a drug-effect on the brain…

It worked when I lost the initial fifty pounds…but I didn’t eat fruit…because even natural sugars can sometimes cause my insulin to go wonky and I get hungry and hangry…and there goes the program…

Just one day at a time…for me it is difficult right now…carbs are my absolute fav…and I really resist the thought that it is imperative for me to be healthy…”If you resist giving up certain foods it is likely you’re addicted or intolerant to them”…and I cringe…clench my jaws…become very irritated at the thought…hmmm

I’m on my third day…just taking one day at a time…I’ll let you know how it goes…

Finally…three years later…wild baboons running wild in town
Rain Soaked…

Have a Magical Day warmed with Love❣

Vroom.. Vroom

Like a souped-up car at the starting lineup of an illicit street race…a little more battered and poorly maintained than most of the participants in the contest of losing weight…but here I am…gunning my engine…

Ok…it’s more like turtling along …a nostalgic cruising with the oldies…

It took me awhile to get to the starting lineup this time…keep making a wrong turn…getting caught in dead ends or facing a brick wall…needing to back up, turn around and try another route…my map was quite out of date apparently…

Here is the map that I am using to find the that I am seeking…a healthy mental and physical body that I feel confident in and my added desired benefit… An age-appropriate black dress sexy …

SMART GOALS

Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound.

Why? Why is this important to me …especially when some people in retirement are ready for the sideline rocking chair…Because I AM NOT…I just found my Prince and want to spend as much quality time exploring life with him…being an example to my granddaughters…being able to pursue my passion of photography (getting flat on the ground to take unique perspectives with my camera is easier with a healthy and flexible body)…each pound lost removes 4 pounds of pressure off my poor grumpy back…and knees…and most importantly…brain health “a person’s weight goes up, all regions of the brain go down in activity and blood flow” …”This study shows that being overweight or obese seriously impacts brain activity and increases the risk for Alzheimer’s disease as well as many other psychiatric and cognitive conditions,”

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/08/200805110127.htm#:~:text=on%20brain%20function-,Higher%20BMI%20is%20linked%20to%20decreased%20cerebral%20blood%20flow%2C%20which,Alzheimer’s%20disease%20and%20mental%20illness&text=Summary%3A,a%20new%20brain%20imaging

I had been on anti-depressants for a period for time when I was faced with dealing with my husband’s cancer surgery and chemotherapy during Covid in a new country…slowly coming off took about 4 months… and this week I am back to feeling like myself…the good, bad, and ugly😁

Found that EFT really is a great support for releasing anxiety that causes emotional eating and the need for wrapping myself up in a blanket of fluff…meditation was a great start…but this seems to be a better fit for me and this sensitivity that I have been blessed with (HSP/INFJ)…

Be Consistent with Logging and Exercising for 146 days (20 weeks)…that’s when we’ll be flying into the USA after being gone for 3+ years…I don’t want to put a specific weight because I do not know exactly how quickly my body is willing to release the curvaceous aspects of itself…

“Do it again and again. Consistency makes the raindrops to create holes in the rock. Whatever is difficult can be done easily with regular attendance, attention and action.”

Israelmore Ayivor, ‘The Great Hand Book Of Quotes’.

Tracking weight in Fitbit every Monday and daily logging in MFP Food Dairy I use Fitbit for logging weight because it is connected to my scale and I like other features such as my sleep score…but for some reason it is easier to record my food intake with My Fitness Pal

Goal of 1365 calories 80% of the time…I want to be mindful without being obsessive…more fruits and vegetables…less sugar and refined carbs…I feel so much better when I eat this way…

Walking 5x a week…gym twice a week…for me that’s achievable…my goal steps per day is minimum 5,000 to 10,000…

I commit to being accountable for the 146 days…and will review at that point what my long term goals will be…so for the next 146 days I will post daily in this blog…what I ate before and my exercise log…and how I am sputtering along

…And here we go

Much love and laughter for your day…sprinkled with magic

144 Days…Gym Day

Gym Rule #1: If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most.” – Jason Love

That is how I felt yesterday. It had been awhile since I had hit the gym …yesterday the gym hit me right back for being absent😂

I have been out of commission with a grumpy lower back…an hour of weight machines was probably a little much…came back home and had to go and comfort my grumbling back.by laying down…I had planned to go for a walk to at least get 5,000 steps on a gym day…but as you see that didn’t happen…something to keep working on…

“The most annoying are those people in exceptionally good shape at the gym. I’m like ‘What are you doing here? You’re done.'” – Jim Gaffigan

Way to many carbs…my resting heartrate always increases with extra carbs…today it went increased a beat…back up to 68…not stressing…just monitoring…the goal was accomplished of eating less than I used…I’ll just keep fine tuning…

The nutritionist told me that stress is harmful to weight loss… “When you’re under stress, your body boosts production of the hormone cortisol. Chronic stress and persistently high cortisol levels may be associated with increased appetite and weight gain.“…another reason that EFT is helpful for me…

Steps for the Day

Keep Turtling…

Days Until…143

🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢…Turtling Along

It does take about an hour a day to get 10,000 steps…30 minutes in the morning exercise video…Leslie Sansone 2 mile Walking video on Youtube (Free) AND 30 minutes in the afternoon…walking the dog when weather permits…love being outside…breathing the fresh air…

That’s how I’m changing my mindset. Dieting based on willpower DOES NOT work long-term…Learning to “love” more vegetables…definitely a work in progress…yesterday made mashed potatoes out of half pumpkin and half potato…a little more palatable…changing my taste buds to enjoy healthy foods takes time…but it does happen…I loved my Diet Coke…but after giving it up and leaving it alone…when I tried it again…it tasted “nasty”…so that gives me hope…

❣Love, Laughter and Magic…🐢

Countdown…145 Days

Yesterday was a good beginning…but it was day 1😂 but I will take the “win” …

Made 10,000 steps although I walked in front of the television after supper for about 3,000 of them.

Today was gym day…totally different day…but it’s all good. Won’t be getting 10,000…

“Woo-Woo” or Just One “Woo”…

Vibrational Frequency of Food…

Thought I would stir the pot…so to speak with the spiritual aspect of the foods that we eat…a little whoo-whoo for some…but relevant for me and at the very least…thought-provoking🤔

…I am mulling it over too after I listened to Alan Carr’s book…he had made comments about why humans are not because I am sensitive energetically…I had become aware of the concept…but really wasn’t ready to embrace it…and honestly…I am not there 100% yet…it’s not that I don’t believe it…just not ready to become a full vegan…but I have started to make some changes and I do feel happier and healthier…repeatable small changes are more manageable for me…therefore, often long lasting…”not as much will power required”

“True life is lived when tiny changes occur.” ~Leo Tolstoy

I know that I used food to “stuff” my emotions…more specifically, it was about “not” feeling…not feeling angry…not feeling depressed…not feeling lonely…and the foods that I used were the lower vibrational foods…it stopped me from feeling as much angst…I have experienced the opposite also…when I eat “healthier” I am happier and definitely more energetic…

Back it back up…

How does the food we eat have vibrational energy?

Even Einstein once said, “Everything in life is vibration.” …Followed by Nikola Tesla who said,” If you want the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration.” …just food for thought (pun indended😂)

I could go on for hours about the scientific data…quantum physics and now even quantum biology is a real field that is studied in universities…recently science is beginning to take the woo-woo down to at least one woo…and I love that fact the science is now beginning to be able to confirm what ancient cultures around the world…the shamans, mystics, and healers have known and understood for thousands of years…

For those that want a less mystical explanation…”Any kind of food that you consume in its pure, raw form—the way it exists naturally—contains energy from the sun, and that energy causes it to vibrate at a high frequency that benefits both your physical and spiritual health.” https://www.learnreligions.com/eat-foods-that-raise-energy-vibration

Just stop and think about how you feel happier or sadder with each of the items on the list below…even if the thought of vibrational energy doesn’t “vibe” 😄with you…

Other Ways to Raise Your Vibration (How Good You Feel)

Very curious…about how you think about the food you eat…do you believe that the foods we eat have a vibrational energy?

Much prayers for peace in our world …peace, love, joy for your day…throwing in just magic to make your eyes sparkle…❣

Giddy Up…

WILLPOWER doesn’t keep a rider on the horse…at least not on this horse I’m currently riding..

Willpower does NOT work…A controversial statement for some people…yet an interesting concept…

As determined and stubborn as I am… there is a reason that I keep tripping up…yes, I didn’t achieve my goal of staying on track with my program…using that mulish streak I have kept searching for the key…

Praying…reading…praying…searching…digging…I have always felt that there is an answer to our questions if we are persistent in our seeking…”Seek and ye shall find”…showing life that we are not being swayed…

 “When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” – Confucius

Shedding a Little Light

The last two weeks have revealed two sources that “spoke” to me…one was in an audiobook and the other in an Instagram account…

Finding out that willpower is a finite resource that becomes exhausted with use explains the reason most of us don’t make it past the second week of resolve to eradicate any addiction that all human creatures struggle with…whether it be  being addicted to social media, current belief systems, personal comfort zones, and our excuses…behaviors that may contradict our goals.

So why would we even need “willpower” if our goals were… mountain top… flag planting …and life changing

In reading Alan Carr’s book Lose Weight Now…it echoed the statement that losing weight and keeping it off is not about “willpower”…it is more about changing the mentality (belief systems) …he says that it is 99% the mental beliefs that we hold…this from a man who chain smoker for 30+ years…smoking over a 100 cigarettes a day to 0 without any side effects

The nugget of wisdom that hit me in the middle of my forehead (after reading two of his books) was that we have a belief system that I hold tightly too…that I get some benefit from the very thing that is destroying my life…quite literally…statistically taking 3 years of precious life…and increasing life debilitating diseases such as diabetes, cancer, etc….

So why is that knowledge not impetus enough…so why cannot I not resist that one chip or candy that becomes a whole bag…why do I feel that I can’t “give up” the immediate short lived insulin rush of pleasure…

“You want to lose weight because it’s making you miserable, but you’re afraid that life will be miserable if you do.”

Alan Carr’s Easy Way for Women to Lose Weight

hmmmm…the thought of not having another chip or piece of chocolate does feel like the ultimate sacrifice…giving up my friend, comforter, therapist and everyone and everything in between…

“Why is the human species the only species on the planet that suffers with weight problems…”

The one particular “ah ha” moment was when I was listening to the book and he speaks about how we think beef is an optimum protein source and yet in a different country…a cow is considered sacred and dog is the protein of choice…does make one lose their appetite…and notice how it’s (impersonal) beef ..not the (personal) cow…but any how…

It’s changing my mindset that I’m not giving up anything…but feeling bad about myself…tired…unhealthy…does this mean that all is going to be perfect smooth sailing from here…probably not…the “human” factor is still there…but I feel so much freer…a door has opened and there is light sneaking through the cracks …a new surge of ability to conquer…to change

I still have to do the work toward my goal of feeling and being healthy…can’t give a definite number…I don’t want to kneel again to shrine of American beauty numbers…(130 pounds is where I was at 20)…a healthy weight…but at 66 it is now about being my healthiest…

My Precious Baby Girl💞

Second lesson relearned…going back to what did work for me. When I first arrived in my Shangri La here in South Africa…I was 50 pounds more blessed than I am today…

Losing 50 pounds…well…at least halfway there…I get so absolutely discouraged about the journey…when I think about it, I cry…it is such an emotional issue and I try not to let it affect my joy and happiness…but that’s not the truth…every day it feels like a failure…ok…pity party over…so much gratefulness for a healthy body…even if it is fluffier than I want (for the moment)..

I lost fifty pounds by tracking…eating low carb (none of the “white stuff”…and walking as close to 10,000 steps per day…which brings me to my second boost of encouragement this week…an Instagram account of a woman who lost almost 200 pounds by doing simple changes consistently… three things…Being calorie deficient every day…tracking food intake…and walking an hour every day…

I can do that!!!!…worked for me the first 50… July 17, 2021 I was at 199.5 (OMG…Onederland)…so why did I stop the program?

Good question to ask myself…I was tired…scary Covid was in full swing…and in September, my love was diagnosed with colon cancer…handling it alone in a foreign country (looking back on it…I did awesome by not gaining it all back) …

And the mental shift of not thinking that sugar and refined carbs were my cozy friends had not happened yet…

It’s been one hell of a ride the last year…fallen off quite a few times…but the road is hopefully a little smoother for a time and I can stay in the saddle and giddy up!!!

Much laughter, happiness and magic in your day❣ Lots of love❣

Thanks always for your letting me share….catch up later….Y’all come back now, hear?