No Magic Spell🎇

What???????? No magic spell to cure ADHD and erase all the distractibility, and impulsivity that it drags along with this neurodevelopmental disorder. No wizardry that will ease the additional challenges that ADHD brings to the task of losing weight …

Self-regulation mechanisms – the deficits of self-regulation of attention, self-regulation of emotion, and the short-term memory are demons that I have struggled with …although now they are no longer phantom ghosts, I must now come to an acceptance of their reality for me, and find ways to banish them or at least keep them at bay …

They are like the sirens of old …singing the enticing music of beckoning carbohydrates …wrong signals about what is ‘right’ …the same deficit of impulse control that causes me to struggle with in interrupting conversations, making it more challenging to not respond to stress by stuffing myself with that wonderful dopamine feeling that is released with the sugary carby food that I crave in that moment …

I have hated myself for years …because I ‘knew’ what I needed to do …and sometimes for periods of time, I might have been able to contain the overwhelming desires …mostly through sheer willpower and situations that were supportive unbeknownst to me …but then the virtuoso’s that played the music in my brain, regained control …

I had come to have no faith or believe in myself …hate and self-loathing created such havoc …seas of despair ravaged my shores for decades …understanding the arduous tasks that must jealously guarded, give me the advantage of envisioning a possibility of reaching the shore of a healthy life…aka my the mountain top …so microscopic, yet it is there… but then I have lived my life in the embers of hope …my angels working overtime to keep the small fire burning in the midst of the gales of hopelessness that constantly blew across the landscape of my mind …

I have not come to terms with the diagnosis fully …I do not yet see the blessing or the positive aspects of having a non-neurotypical brain …it will take time to learn to love myself …A misogynistic father, a restrictive controlling cult and all my life challenges did not serve to plant the seed of self-love …I am not a victim to that anymore, and I will overcome this challenge, as I have others …

🤔 I have started researching the best way forward from where I am currently standing …just general scientific knowledge has shown the direct correlation between the fuel we put into our bodies and how the engine (brain) functions …the incorrect or substandard (Western type diet) will cause the circuits to misfire …

There are important ‘rules’ for me that I have found by testing and searching for the magic bullet with weight loss, which assist with my mental health …

  • Avoiding artificial colors, flavors, and preservatives in processed foods
  • Eliminating refined sugars. Who is surprised with that one😂The annoying refined sugar bugs impair brain function and really exacerbates my mood disorders …
  • Take Magnesium, B6, Vitamin D and Omega 3 (are helpful to me)
  • Morning Exercise. 30 minutes of an aerobic exercise that increases the dopamine to get me going in the right direction
  • IF 16 hours (intermittent Fasting). I don’t have to worry about what to eat or when to eat. I do always need to be mindful, to eat after that, because if I get too hungry, all impulse control goes out the window.
  • Support to keep me focused and on track. I recently enlisted a new trainer that is super supportive and understands where I am at …is gentle, yet still pushes me to go the distance. Being responsible to someone, other than my husband, is also a a supplement to the process
  • My ADHD medicine is necessary, along with support of a therapist that understands the struggle …

I had the ‘please, let me just die’ flu last week, so that did help with beginning the process of changing my eating. This week, I am focusing on creating exercise habits …it is more sustainable for me to start one habit at a time …

Routine is my secret weapon, it assists me with a sense of the time of day, as well as the day of the week, not to mention my goals and priorities. I don’t need to stress about what I need to do, when I need to do it …as much as I detest routines being a free-spirited Aquarian, it does increase my ability to cope and stay on my meandering path … And not every day lends itself to following the routine to the dots and tittles …but it is a skeleton that is flexible … perfection being unattainable, 80/20 is a lifesaving rule

  • Monday. Weight-In. 30 minutes 8am exercise. IF Fasting till 12
  • Tuesday. Gym Training 1:30 pm. IF Fasting till 12
  • Wednesday. 30 minutes 8am. IF Fasting till 12
  • Thursday is 8am exercise. IF Fasting till 12
  • Friday. Gym Training 1:30. IF Fasting till 12
  • Saturday. 30 minutes 8am exercise. IF Fasting till 12
  • Sunday is my ‘Rest’ Day…Breakfast and a fun day with my husband💕

There are additional changes that are in the wings …for flexibility and strength training …the trainer suggested swimming exercises classes at the gym and a ‘gentle yoga’ class …currently it sounds overwhelming … yet I only need take one day at a time…

Today, Friday is my second gym day …doesn’t sound like much of an accomplishment …but a rung in the ladder …a step ‘at a time’ on this long trek toward the top of the mountain … with courage I am taking each day slowly and with a deliberate focus …as much as possible with an ADHD brain 😂

“Courage wasn’t a matter of taking the whole mountain in a single massive leap. Courage was taking it one step at a time, doing what was necessary now, preparing for the next step, and refusing to worry about whether some step in the future would be the one that would break him.”

– Timothy Zahn, ‘Star Wars’.

I am documenting this journey with ADHD and weight loss at the awesome age of 60+, so if there is anyone that feels hopeless and lost in the gloomy obscurity of life…I leave a little of myself to shine✨ in the mire of despondency that we all feel burdened with at times …

“Don’t feel alone, because there is always someone out there who loves you more than you can imagine.” – Anurag Prakash Ray.

Sending love for your day … love is the magic that creates possibilities where there appears only an abyss of nothingness …Although you may not know me, and I may not have seen you in this physical world …I know you are there, and I walk beside you …may these words wrap a warmth and comforting blanket around your heart …💌

Burning to Emerge…

When I started writing about my “climb up the mountain” of weight loss…there was nowhere in my wildest and crazy thought processes that I could envision where it would take me on my soul’s journey…

 “Don’t hoard the past. Don’t cherish anything. Burn it. The artist is the phoenix who burns to emerge.” – Janet Fitch.

This segment of the path is not completed…yet, I have come further than I would have imagined in a short about of time…

Tears have fallen like a molten lead flame…rising from a broken heart…sliding from beneath my eyelids…the soul rendering grief as I whimpered…sobbed convulsively…moaned…and cried seemingly endless tears…the agony of grieving hurts like hell as the saltwater of tears burns through the wounds… burning past chapters of my life…some I have saved and hold tight within my memories…most I am burning and letting go…“Even a spineless arthropod sheds what’s no longer useful and leaves it behind them. Are you not greater than they?” ― Jason Versey

 “Darling, you’re not falling apart. You’re getting rid of the pieces that no longer serve your purpose, this is a surgery of the spirit, and it can be painful as hell.”

Kalen Dion.

Excess weight has been a survival mechanism that I needed…and I find myself still “eating” as a means of grounding myself when the world “feels” overwhelming…why?

Being an empath is difficult and has often felt like a curse, more than a blessing…how do I explain what an empath is…it has become a more commonly accepted way of being…so much that neuroscientists and psychologists now accept and use the term…

“The term ‘Empath’ has become popular in recent years, often used to describe someone with a higher-than-normal degree of empathy. Empaths absorb others’ energy to the point where they feel like an ‘emotional sponge’. They do not have the filters most people do, and they seem to feel other people’s stress and feelings in their own bodies”https://eggshelltherapy.com/empath/

Probably brought on due to the trauma of my childhood wounding and “growing-up” years…it became a survival mechanism that I needed to have to tune in to how my narcissistic parent (which is also caused by his own childhood wound) was feeling so I could do what I needed to be “safe”… Being empathic makes it easier to notice other people’s emotions, thoughts, and feelings

I didn’t understand what was happening and as life progressed and I continued to draw narcissistic people into my life…the emotional load became too much…I always felt overwhelmed and not grounded in my own body….the food that I have craved…are heavier vibrationally dense…foods and drinks that are processed and lost all of their natural energy…alcohol, caffeine, dairy products, GMO foods like corn or soy, soft drinks, beverages with added sugar, wheat and products containing gluten, unhealthy fats and oils…the added weight adding an additional benefit …serving also as an added blanket of protection…both physically and emotionally…


“Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. It is not the empath who is broken, it is society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those who are at times described as being a ‘hot mess’ or having ‘too many issues’ are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world. Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in this world.”
― Anthon St. Maarten

So, what’s next on this journey…definitely continued healing…releasing the outdated offensive energy blocks (the pain and hurt) that I carried for years…and filling those empty spaces with more love…learning how to serve as an empath without losing my own identity…it is a process that I must be patient with and love myself through…

I had my first meeting with a psychologist last week to help guide me in this continuing expedition up the mountain…the first meeting was more about mapping out the journey of my life up until now …I was blessed to connect to the right one for me…her suggested reading was The Source written by a South African Tara Swart…“a neuroscientist and MIT lecturer that shows how science supports the Law of Attraction as a tool for discovering the authentic self”…

How synchronicitous is that…it is a rather exciting process for me…like the cage doors are opening and I can finally be free…do you have any idea of what even the thought of freedom means for the Aquarian freedom loving person🤣…like air…necessary

I haven’t lost any weight yet …but it really is ok…I will as I learn new skills to cope…and I know that my optimum weight is about 130…I have so many exciting things to look forward to…and losing the weight is just a fraction of the blessings that I am in anticipation of…

I choose to share the journey to be brave and bold …to view my scars is to know you are not alone …much love, joy, and magic for your day❣

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”

 Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

There is a new story that will be written from the ashes of the old…

The Fork in The Road For the Empaths

Dear Empathic Soul

It is terribly challenging

to live with little or no filter;

To hear every drop of tears from near and far away;

To see human and non-human expressions of sorrow;

To every day have the world’s pain piercing through you;

To sensing the lies and hypocrisies when others don’t;

To feel trapped in your heightened sensitivity and perception.

At some point, you reached a fork in the road

where you had to decide:

Either to stay here with us, in this imperfect world, or you float up, dissociate, and leave.

I bet you have tried them all:

The spiritual bypassing, the closing down, the tuning out, the numbing using addictions, or dulling through drugs.

The desert offered transient tranquillity, but eventually led you down a path of emptiness, deep aloneness, meaninglessness and eventually,

despair.

Boredom is a result of fear—

It was all too edgy to sit with, so you left.

As you withdraw from the heartache, you also leave behind your hope and love.

At some point, you will reach another fork in the road

where you have to decide:

To stay, or to leave.

A yes or a no to the marriage with life.

The key to moving forward is ‘commitment’;

You either commit to being a part of humanity, or you divorce yourself from it all.

You might have thought that you were too weak, too porous, too soft

for such a commitment.

Yet something magical happens when you say ‘I do.’

The words clear your path, the intention gives you strengths.

How does this work?

By committing to staying with the world, you must also live with other people’s limitations and dysfunctions.

Then, you come face to face with your shadows and your own dysfunctional parts.

Your heart softens, and you learn the art of unconditional love and acceptance of yourself and others.

By committing to cohabiting a space with others, you deal with the daily irritants, inconvenience, and transgressions.

In doing so, you come to embrace life for what it is, rather than constantly trying to change it to the way you want it.

Eventually, you become strong.

With all the terrors comes glory.

As your commitment to the world ripens, it rewards you with richness, joy and strength.

So you were born an empath.

Where do you go from here?

Do you rise to the occasion, yield to the path that you were given,

let it shape you, and allow Life to use you as a vessel,

Or do you hide, shrink, and leave?

Ultimately, you root to rise

not because it is moral, or even particularly honourable,

But because it is the only way to go.

https://eggshelltherapy.com/empath

Walking the Path…

When I started writing about my weight loss journey…little did I know that it would take me through this dark journey…and never would have thought about sharing…but I do so in the hope that it may be a guiding star in someone else’s darkness…

I cry almost every day, right now …and often feel like I have no skin and my innermost being is raw … screaming internally with every breath of air…irrationally I am not depressed…I know that there is an end…this is only the beginning to a beautiful ending …this is the beauty of the darkness

 When you feel like you need to cry, when you want to just get it out, relieve some of the pressure from the inside – that is true pain. Because no matter how hard you try or how bad you want to, you can’t. That pain just stays in place. Then, if you are lucky, one small tear may escape from those eyes that water constantly. That one tear, that tiny, salty, droplet of moisture is a means of escape. Although it’s just a small tear, it is the heaviest thing in the world. 

Chase Brooks

The analogy that comes to mind is the treatment needed for third degree burns …my past traumas caused damage to the very depth of my being …I hadn’t realized the severity …I numbed the pain to survive…the best way I could …anaesthetizing the deep inner wounding and brokenness in whatever way I could manage… now the scar tissue must be scrubbed clean …and it hurts like the dickens …

Instinctively I knew that this healing would be painful …I humbly submitted to God that I would walk the path …it is my “valley of death” that I am walking through …not to live in or die here …but to walk through …releasing the infectious thoughts and beliefs that have kept me small and hidden (out of fear) …definitely, “It would be easier to keep playing life without being whole …it is done all the time …but that is not what I choose …

My first session with the a registered clinical psychologist and pastoral therapist is still about 10 days away …I am responsible for my own life and have been experimenting with spiritual practices to find what works for me …EFT tapping helps with anxiety …many people swear by its weight loss attributes … I haven’t gone that far with it yet definitely helps in several ways for me…

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience”

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

EFT Tapping has been used successfully in PTSD survivors … a lot like acupuncture without the needles …EFT uses fingertip tapping to apply pressure to the meridian points …points in our body which the Chinese believe that our energy flows through …

There are several steps …but the one that spoke to me first was the “setup phrase”… a common setup phrase is: “Even though I have this [fear or problem], I deeply and completely accept myself.” …affirmations are about what we want to become … not acknowledging where we are and loving ourselves in spite of those imperfections …

So much of my issues stem from not knowing how to love myself …something I never learned as a child to do …that statement I deeply and completely accept myself” along is very healing …self-acceptance even when I am not that “perfect” version of myself I feel I need to be to be accepted and loved …EFT tapping has worked for me in shorting the overload of anxiety when I use it …

Learning to heal the inner child …is my biggest challenge …. “adulting” is not something I really learned to do well …I had no role models …and my parents were unable to provide the knowledge I needed to navigate the world due to their own traumas …and being kept secluded in the cult” gave me no other options to come across any …

“When our emotional health is in a bad state, so is our level of self-esteem. We have to slow down and deal with what is troubling us, so that we can enjoy the simple joy of being happy and at peace with ourselves.” ― Jess C. Scott

Today I completed a YouTube Video Yoga for trauma healing …a gentle yoga not focused on hard poses to master …a way to safely connect with my body …slowly starting to release the lower vibrational energy that I have stored in my body …helpfully liberating tension

That is how I view the extra weight that I carry with me …a lower vibrational energy that I stored with every bite of food that I used to stuff anger, hurt, fear and all the other negative emotions and feelings that food helped me to manage in a more societal acceptable way …

“The fact is, all of us are living with the invisible wounds of some kind of war. Yoga helps you to let go of the things that don’t serve you anymore.”
Dan Nevins, yoga ambassador and US Army veteran

Tomorrow will be a new day …new hope …a gift to be opened with grace and gratefulness …this is not the end, only the beginning…there is a reason that I wear a butterfly tattoo🦋

Across the miles ..I send you love…with prayers for all the laughter and magic you can hold❣

Conversations…My Dragon & I

“Don’t fight your demons. Your demons are here to teach you lessons. Sit down with your demons and have a drink and a chat and learn their names and talk about the burns on their fingers and scratches on their ankles. Some of them are very nice.”

Charles Bukowski

Making peace with one’s self is so much easier than making war…well, maybe not easier but less bloody…Incredibly adverse to the hatred that it takes to kill something…even the thought of killing something within myself was abhorrent…

So how to reframe it all… losing weight…which is letting all the trapped trauma go…self-sabotaging…self-hatred…to lose weight without limited massive willpower… and keep it off means changing something deep within myself…so here I am taking the time to talk to my big personal dragon of self-sabotage…why does he decide to burn down every attempt to cross this mountain…

My Protector and I

It made no sense when I was so confident that this was the time… Determination was at an optimum level…I was going to conquer the mountain of weight loss come hell or high water…becoming healthier, more confident, and happier…and then I quit…BLOP…sat right now and quit…doing the same thing over and over gets exhausting…

During introspection, I realized that I had been in a situation that triggered all of my fears of being “not safe”…being “pretty” when I was younger brought attention that was dangerous and hurtful…the fear (Fear is a powerful, deeply wired reaction that is designed to keep us safe from perceived threats) of being taken advantage of again caused the “inner child” to freak out again…huge anxiety…

There are several reasons (smaller dragons) that have caused me to sabotage my weight loss…feeding worry and anxiety… a way to soothe, rewarding myself and suppressing feelings…but the biggest one is fear in all its incredible glorious form…

Recognizing it is the first step…the fear is irrational…I am in a safe place with a man that loves me for who I am… understands and is supportive of where I’m at…acknowledgement has been a good beginning…I have started talking with a therapist and we’ll see where that leads and if it is helpful…

The trauma of when I was younger apparently was horrible enough that my self-protection has blocked my memory of most of my life between the ages of 5 and 18…our brains are such beautiful… I don’t know if I even need to remember or if I ever will…and that’s ok…I have forgiven and I am no longer a victim…my focus is staying mindful and being in the moment…”sucking the juice out of every moment that I am blessed with”…

Now it is taking one step at a time…loving myself and the dragon that I live with seems to be a smart step right now…gently acknowledging the fear and learning to love myself…

Daily self-love is being gentle with myself…focusing on doing at least one productive thing per day that I can do towards my goal…living the fact that being healthy makes me less vulnerable, not more…

Helpful Book-The Mountain

This week I have been Intermittent Fasting 16/8…it’s easy and I enjoy the feeling of not being weighed down with food or worrying about what to eat…even though there are periods of hunger…I have made an appointment with my nutritionist for Friday…I will meet with her once a week for support…

Making friends with my dragon so we can learn to fly together …my dragon and I

Much love, laughter, and magic for your day❣

Setting Our Mountaintop Goals

I recently wrote this blog post on my beautifultapestryoflife site…and I thought I would republish it with added updates for my countdown for weight loss…127 days

The weight loss goal seems more elusive than even this way out photography (career/life) goal…I am having a momentary pity part..but a massive one…I did well for two weeks my lose of 3 pounds after coming back from vacay…

I thought I’d get smart and fine tune the program and cut-out all wheat and sugar…more keto than low carb…and my body just doesn’t appreciate the extra fat in my lifestyle…my Resting heart rate increased drastically over the last week…till it has gotten to what it was 3 years ago…even Mr. P mentioned that my body seems extra sensitive to what I eat…

Pity Party Over😉

Sometimes being stubborn can be useful if channeled in the right direction…there are so many reasons to accomplish the goal of losing the weight…one is that I will need the ability to be healthy and move effortlessly to accomplish being a master photographer…laying flat on the ground to take a photo and getting up gracefully is not an easy feat when you carry extra pounds beside the camera equipment…

There are some that might say…you’re getting older…just relax…I can’t, and I won’t…there’s still so much I want to see and do…life has only begun for me at retirement…every cell in my body yearns to be set free…

So now what???????? I can only reset and go back to doing what works and be patient…low carb, exercise, and counting calories…no shortcuts or listening to what Facebook…Instagram or any other social media outlet has to suggest…only my body can tell me what is right for me…and I need to listen…there are no shortcuts in life…I always get lost when I take a side road with a sign that reads “Shortcut –Weightloss and Sweatless Quickie“…no more detours…no more side roads…

You can beat the grind…life knows how much you invested, and it doesn’t give us the mountain tops without the sweat equity…whether mental and/or physical…

Master Photographer Blog continued…

“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.”

—Andrew Carnegie

How do YOU define success…which achievements would make you sing with joy…it is as different for every person as there are stars in the sky…? what goals do you want to really go for with all your being …it may change with time and need to be changed…that’s where I am at… redefining and refining my vision of what “success” means to me during this new chapter of life…what audacious goal should I set my sights on…

THE WHAT: The primary kickstart for goals…what knockdown…knockout personal achievement would make you feel like you made it to the top…

This is mine
Ultimate Goal – Honours Laureate Gold

Currently after 1 year…I have accumulated 28 from entering the monthly …needing 40 club points to move to a three-star rating…

Goals map out where you want to land…but they can be ambiguous and you may never achieve your desired end result…Yogi Berra said, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you’re going to end up somewhere else…” I’ve been there before when I’ve set goals and then never achieved them…

  • What is your story, why do you do what you do? 
  • What keeps you awake at night? 
  • What inspired you to pursue your business?
  • What makes your heart race?
  • What was the moment that changed your life as you know it?
  • What’s been the biggest challenge for you on your photography journey?

What lights you up…Going “niche” makes you stand out…which reduces your competition… increases your visibility…stokes your creative fire…and hones your expertise…remember the old saying “jack of all trades and master of none”…

I’ve tried various niches…street, night, nature, portrait, wedding, black & white, boudoir, macro, candid, landscape, wildlife…some I lose all track of time…I find myself getting lost in creating the magic in nature and wildlife…adding artistic and creative techniques that help tell a story…yet still in the process of defining my own visual and artistic style…

Before & After – My “style” in progress

Always take time to play…“All work and no play doesn’t just make Jill and Jack dull, it kills the potential of discovery, mastery, and openness to change and flexibility and it hinders innovation and invention.” – Joline Godfrey

What are your fantastic magical goals…shoot for the moon🌙…my darlings…you have nothing to fear…at the very worst you’ll fall among the twinkling laughter of the stars…love, laughter and magic

135 Days…

Back home from a cold and rainy forest holiday in Hogsback (strange name with unknown origin)…supposedly the place that inspired JRR Tolkien… nestled in the Amatola Mountain range and housing the oldest forest in South Africa…

With no wi-fi or internet…you can lose yourself in the pure magic…the earthy smells and fragrances of the natural world triggering old memories, and creating new ones…the heavy, heady smell of damp forest…

It sits on your shoulder and seeps into your senses… excited to see the colors and smell of …I am missing the crisp air and the vibrate reds, and oranges so beautifully mixed with muted shades of yellow and brown…such a kaleidoscope of color…my heart sang…and I still reel with the beauty that is just too exquisite to be able to find the right words…

“Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let things go.” ~Unknown

An apt quote for the mission that I am on to let go of the unhealthy part of myself…physically and mentally…

A celebration before we left…for Mr. P’s birthday at a restaurant called Natti’s Thai Kitchen

Why can I never remember the effects of food and drink that are so detrimental to me…in the suspended moments of enjoyment with great friends and wonderful food…there was definitely too much alcohol imbibed by me…

I don’t normally drink alcohol…but it difficult for me in a social situation to abstain totally…normally one glass is sufficient…but that night everyone brought alcohol…gin and several bottles of wine…after one…it was too easy to allow my glass to keep being filled…

A fact of life…our bodies weaken with age…and I am working harder at trying to find a happy and healthy balance…drinking more than an occasional glass of wine is not on the list any more…but I get caught up in the frivolity and joy…I wasn’t prepared for the situation…

With being highly sensitive…the next day I reaped the effects…hormonal imbalance…depression is the worst…teary eyed…extra sensitive to every word that was spoken to me…morose and definitely not motivated to do anything…

At least I realized what was happening…and there is not much that I can do, except wait it out…but it always feels like a wasted day…miserable…you would think it would be a huge red flag…memory is so not reliable sometimes…

Difficult to eat correctly and track…motivate myself to exercise…all the routines that provide optimum living for me…Didn’t really have time to dwell on it much…getting ready to leave for Hogsback…such a needed break…

I ground in Nature…it is the most healing place that I can be…and the forest is probably the number 1 place that I love to just get lost in…wrapped in the soothing arms of Mother Earth…Stepping into a forest is like walking through a gate…I can release all the fuss and stress behind…to be greeted with peace and fragrant nature.

I didn’t track and was worried that I would gain weight…but the 80/20 rule applied…stress is outlawed during breaks from “real” life…we walked… hiked…over 10,000 steps per day…up and down…carrying photographic equipment…

Didn’t learn my lesson…Gin Tasting for me…

Don’t you just love the hat🤣

Was it worth it…I came back with a 2 lb. loss…so in that respect…it did not hurt my progress…but I don’t enjoy the punishment that ensues… my feelings of peace and happiness…

I made a choice…I don’t think I’ll be a teetotaler… but limiting myself to ONE drink is doable…there were other choices that hung on the coattails of that one…choosing to give up processed wheat and sugar…for a couple of weeks to confirm if my sensitivities are affected… there are a few studies that show that refined sugar and wheat have a drug-effect on the brain…

It worked when I lost the initial fifty pounds…but I didn’t eat fruit…because even natural sugars can sometimes cause my insulin to go wonky and I get hungry and hangry…and there goes the program…

Just one day at a time…for me it is difficult right now…carbs are my absolute fav…and I really resist the thought that it is imperative for me to be healthy…”If you resist giving up certain foods it is likely you’re addicted or intolerant to them”…and I cringe…clench my jaws…become very irritated at the thought…hmmm

I’m on my third day…just taking one day at a time…I’ll let you know how it goes…

Finally…three years later…wild baboons running wild in town
Rain Soaked…

Have a Magical Day warmed with Love❣

Vroom.. Vroom

Like a souped-up car at the starting lineup of an illicit street race…a little more battered and poorly maintained than most of the participants in the contest of losing weight…but here I am…gunning my engine…

Ok…it’s more like turtling along …a nostalgic cruising with the oldies…

It took me awhile to get to the starting lineup this time…keep making a wrong turn…getting caught in dead ends or facing a brick wall…needing to back up, turn around and try another route…my map was quite out of date apparently…

Here is the map that I am using to find the that I am seeking…a healthy mental and physical body that I feel confident in and my added desired benefit… An age-appropriate black dress sexy …

SMART GOALS

Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound.

Why? Why is this important to me …especially when some people in retirement are ready for the sideline rocking chair…Because I AM NOT…I just found my Prince and want to spend as much quality time exploring life with him…being an example to my granddaughters…being able to pursue my passion of photography (getting flat on the ground to take unique perspectives with my camera is easier with a healthy and flexible body)…each pound lost removes 4 pounds of pressure off my poor grumpy back…and knees…and most importantly…brain health “a person’s weight goes up, all regions of the brain go down in activity and blood flow” …”This study shows that being overweight or obese seriously impacts brain activity and increases the risk for Alzheimer’s disease as well as many other psychiatric and cognitive conditions,”

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/08/200805110127.htm#:~:text=on%20brain%20function-,Higher%20BMI%20is%20linked%20to%20decreased%20cerebral%20blood%20flow%2C%20which,Alzheimer’s%20disease%20and%20mental%20illness&text=Summary%3A,a%20new%20brain%20imaging

I had been on anti-depressants for a period for time when I was faced with dealing with my husband’s cancer surgery and chemotherapy during Covid in a new country…slowly coming off took about 4 months… and this week I am back to feeling like myself…the good, bad, and ugly😁

Found that EFT really is a great support for releasing anxiety that causes emotional eating and the need for wrapping myself up in a blanket of fluff…meditation was a great start…but this seems to be a better fit for me and this sensitivity that I have been blessed with (HSP/INFJ)…

Be Consistent with Logging and Exercising for 146 days (20 weeks)…that’s when we’ll be flying into the USA after being gone for 3+ years…I don’t want to put a specific weight because I do not know exactly how quickly my body is willing to release the curvaceous aspects of itself…

“Do it again and again. Consistency makes the raindrops to create holes in the rock. Whatever is difficult can be done easily with regular attendance, attention and action.”

Israelmore Ayivor, ‘The Great Hand Book Of Quotes’.

Tracking weight in Fitbit every Monday and daily logging in MFP Food Dairy I use Fitbit for logging weight because it is connected to my scale and I like other features such as my sleep score…but for some reason it is easier to record my food intake with My Fitness Pal

Goal of 1365 calories 80% of the time…I want to be mindful without being obsessive…more fruits and vegetables…less sugar and refined carbs…I feel so much better when I eat this way…

Walking 5x a week…gym twice a week…for me that’s achievable…my goal steps per day is minimum 5,000 to 10,000…

I commit to being accountable for the 146 days…and will review at that point what my long term goals will be…so for the next 146 days I will post daily in this blog…what I ate before and my exercise log…and how I am sputtering along

…And here we go

Much love and laughter for your day…sprinkled with magic

Days Until…143

🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢…Turtling Along

It does take about an hour a day to get 10,000 steps…30 minutes in the morning exercise video…Leslie Sansone 2 mile Walking video on Youtube (Free) AND 30 minutes in the afternoon…walking the dog when weather permits…love being outside…breathing the fresh air…

That’s how I’m changing my mindset. Dieting based on willpower DOES NOT work long-term…Learning to “love” more vegetables…definitely a work in progress…yesterday made mashed potatoes out of half pumpkin and half potato…a little more palatable…changing my taste buds to enjoy healthy foods takes time…but it does happen…I loved my Diet Coke…but after giving it up and leaving it alone…when I tried it again…it tasted “nasty”…so that gives me hope…

❣Love, Laughter and Magic…🐢

Countdown…145 Days

Yesterday was a good beginning…but it was day 1😂 but I will take the “win” …

Made 10,000 steps although I walked in front of the television after supper for about 3,000 of them.

Today was gym day…totally different day…but it’s all good. Won’t be getting 10,000…

“Woo-Woo” or Just One “Woo”…

Vibrational Frequency of Food…

Thought I would stir the pot…so to speak with the spiritual aspect of the foods that we eat…a little whoo-whoo for some…but relevant for me and at the very least…thought-provoking🤔

…I am mulling it over too after I listened to Alan Carr’s book…he had made comments about why humans are not because I am sensitive energetically…I had become aware of the concept…but really wasn’t ready to embrace it…and honestly…I am not there 100% yet…it’s not that I don’t believe it…just not ready to become a full vegan…but I have started to make some changes and I do feel happier and healthier…repeatable small changes are more manageable for me…therefore, often long lasting…”not as much will power required”

“True life is lived when tiny changes occur.” ~Leo Tolstoy

I know that I used food to “stuff” my emotions…more specifically, it was about “not” feeling…not feeling angry…not feeling depressed…not feeling lonely…and the foods that I used were the lower vibrational foods…it stopped me from feeling as much angst…I have experienced the opposite also…when I eat “healthier” I am happier and definitely more energetic…

Back it back up…

How does the food we eat have vibrational energy?

Even Einstein once said, “Everything in life is vibration.” …Followed by Nikola Tesla who said,” If you want the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration.” …just food for thought (pun indended😂)

I could go on for hours about the scientific data…quantum physics and now even quantum biology is a real field that is studied in universities…recently science is beginning to take the woo-woo down to at least one woo…and I love that fact the science is now beginning to be able to confirm what ancient cultures around the world…the shamans, mystics, and healers have known and understood for thousands of years…

For those that want a less mystical explanation…”Any kind of food that you consume in its pure, raw form—the way it exists naturally—contains energy from the sun, and that energy causes it to vibrate at a high frequency that benefits both your physical and spiritual health.” https://www.learnreligions.com/eat-foods-that-raise-energy-vibration

Just stop and think about how you feel happier or sadder with each of the items on the list below…even if the thought of vibrational energy doesn’t “vibe” 😄with you…

Other Ways to Raise Your Vibration (How Good You Feel)

Very curious…about how you think about the food you eat…do you believe that the foods we eat have a vibrational energy?

Much prayers for peace in our world …peace, love, joy for your day…throwing in just magic to make your eyes sparkle…❣