Paw Prints on Our Hearts🐾

It’s 5 o’clock and I catch myself waiting to hear the clicking of her toenails as she abruptly skids into the kitchen…asking for her dinner…but there is only the silence…Mr. P thought he caught a glimpse of her in when he was working in the garden…she loved being outdoors

No banal platitudes or trite quotes…words feel meaningless or at least extremely inadequate at the moment…with an inability to convey the heaviness and tumultuous of emotions…

Summerstrand, PE

Arriving in South Africa in July 2019…often I felt lost and alone in a place where everything was unfamiliar and devoid of family and old friends to hold unto…Mr. P and the lady Whiskey were my saving grace…

…when I arrived here last year…she & I started out with a common bond being two old ladies…well, I should say…just more mature…with bum left hips🤣…when Mr. P would go to work…I talked or cried…and she listened…and she understood…we became inseparable…where ever I went…she followed and laid down beside me to keep me company…it was as if she knew that it was her job…she was my friend…

Mr. P was of course her first love…her alpha…she had been with the family for almost 15 years…he trained her…took her for her favorite walks…she really adored him❤ and he loved her❣

Two worlds swirled together…creating a love that doesn’t make a lick of sense to the rational part of our brain…but somehow it touches the dreamy and devoted parts…our heart…and that is where she’ll always be…

…I wish she could have stayed just a little while longer…at least until Mr. P completed the chemo…and I think that she tried…when she ran limping down the hall her last morning to say good morning and give her love greeting…

People (and Pets🐾) come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty…

To provide you with guidance and support…

To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually…

They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die…

Sometimes they walk away…

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand….

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled…

Their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has now been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON.

Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons.

Things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life…

Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime

–Unknown author

Most everyone and everything in our lives is often transitory…and life is brief…with your whole being…embrace the sweetness of life…and even the pain for it teaches and imbues with wisdom (if we let it)…fill each moment with gratitude, passion and purpose…forgive, forget and release each transgression quickly… relentlessly pursue joy…and never bypass a moment to express your love…

Prayers that your day will be filled with love, much laughter and the magic of life.

Metamorphosis

In life…transformations of our life can sometimes happen suddenly…but much of the transition of ourselves happens in stages and phases…each change adding depth, color and character to our life tapestry…

Twelve months of magical slowing down..resting…rejuvenation of body, soul and spirit…being rebuilt…listening to myself and relearning and learning what is important to me during this chapter of life…

Metamorphosis Morale in 2020 | Metamorphosis quotes, Butterfly ...

Lately I have felt stagnated…”itchy” like when damaged skin in healing…shedding old ways and beliefs that no longer feel comfortable to my authentic self…my experiences are changing the dimensions of my self- perception…

The greatest gift you have to give is your own self-transformation.

~Lao Tzu

…so much going on here…right now…lots of home renovation being done…torn foot ligaments…finding a photography club to be involved in…writing…Mr. P’s 3+ engineering projects…relationship time…friends and family…cooking…cleaning..business accounting…need to create a business website…and self-care…exercising…and..and…they are all things that I absolutely love doing…yet feeling overwhelmed…

When I start feeling overwhelmed…exhausted mentally….I start shutting down…and don’t get anything accomplished…I had a wonderful reminder the other day that no one can do everything at once…she said to find what gives my heart joy…what a brilliant place to start…

…But I love it all…mostly creative expressions and pursuits in one way or another (lol…cleaning would be the exception)…back to the drawing board… prioritize...time is always a factor in our human existence…so limited and precious…as much as I would like to think I am super woman…it’s only in my head and very debilitating to the body and soul…

What should take preeminence…what are my current top 5 Life Priorities…

  • Priority #1 – Health…the primary focus is on losing weight and obtaining my optimum BMI…I have lost over 50 lbs….but still have 38% of my current weight to lose…

This is at the top of my list because without health…there is nothing…

Maintaining a good health is the biggest investment that you could ever make, because without it, a lot of things in life would become impossible.”
― Edmond Mbiaka

If I am healthy…I have space in my heart and mind to enjoy everything else…I have the world at my fingertips…full of possibilities…I can do anything I want in life. I can enjoy my family to the fullest, I can love my friends and my man with intent and purpose…

  • Priority #2 – Relationships…most specifically Family…whether blood, out-laws and in-laws…employees and friends…the people who are our anchors and life jackets in the rough waters…the bond of love and joy in sharing each others lives..those who accept us as we are with all our foibles…those who believe and support us…

When my story eventually reaches its end, there are people that I would like to look back with. I hope to be able to look back at this life with this family I have surrounded myself and know that I was loved and that I am leaving a legacy of love in the hearts and lives of this family…

Priority #3 – Adventure/Life Experiences…always been an adventurer… opportunity to see the world, to meet new people, to learn about myself and to squeeze every bit of life out of this adventure around the sun...traveling and spending time in nature

Priority #4 – Creativitycreativity in all of its forms makes me feel sparkly and light up my spirit…even when it’s sanding baseboards to repaint…peeling and chopping miles of vegetables to make a delicious meal…spending an hour hunting for that “just right” synonym…taking millions of photographs in the hopes I can have just the “right” viewpoint/story to share…

Priority #5 – Self Development/LearningLearning…just learning something that I never knew before is exciting…Personal Development…becoming the best version of who I was created to be…

I remember reading this quote many years ago and thinking that I want to leave everything that I came into this earth to share…not holding back anything…

“The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry out their dream.” – Les Brown

…but rather arriving empty at the pearly gates being a good steward of the gifts that I was given…

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”
― Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967

…which brings me to the changes that I thinking of making within my blog…my yearly subscription is almost due for renewal…I thought I would delete the account and take some time off from writing…thereby reducing the list of things to currently focus on…

I found that I was just writing on another site…so that wasn’t going to be a solution…spending 4 or 5 hours per blog is a big chunk out of my day…so now what…

Changing the format or length of personal essays…making this more of a journaling platform…

I hope that you will stay with me during these changes…

...sent with magic, laughter and tons of love

Dedicated to the Mr. P

“Walk with me through life and I’ll have everything I need for the journey.”

Ten Days Eight Hours 42 Seconds…Lessons from a Butterfly

Like a butterfly…In the darkness and constrictive place that I have been… I have been growing and changing…finding my true colors in life…finding my wings to fly into a new…and brighter life…

Yesterday was painful…tears flowed like the gates lifted from a dammed up lake…both mine and others…it was my last day…and good-byes were said…often though not a good-bye…but here is my email address…keep in touch…post lots of pictures to facebook…

As much as technology has its downside…it is in times like this…that I am so grateful to be in an age where across and around the world is only a keystroke away…Whatsapp is an app that has been an integral part in keeping in touch with my son and of course, Mr. P….psst…and you can call with no additional fees…share photos and video chat…

Grief is the body/mind/soul’s natural response in losing someone or something that important to you…and the way we grieve may be different…there is no right or wrong way…

For me…I find that the quickest way to walk through it…is to feel the pain…embrace it… if you will…walk through it…cry…scream…pound the bed…if you don’t allow the feelings and emotions to come through and just cover them up or push them down through alcohol, drugs or any other means…the emotional wound does not heal…

Some remnants of grief may never go away…and we will carry with us forever…a scar that may always be tender to the touch…the emotions are like waves…sometimes they will be calm and sometimes comes crashing in…and all we can do is learn to swim…I think that this quote explains it most eloquently…

“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be broken, and the bad news is that you never get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t heal back up. And you come through. It is like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly…that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp” ~Anne Lamott

After walking through the initial pain for leaving…I came to a place of gratitude…so thankful to have experienced so much love and friendship…how many people leave a job with only happiness that they don’t have to work at that job anymore… I am blessed to know that I am not losing friends…I can keep them close…through text…calls…Facebook…and whatever means necessary…time and distance will change the dynamics…the shapes of the friendships…

Through the pain of change…comes so much more…my friends with their love and support are sending this butterfly off to see the beautiful world that awaits…and they will be able to experience the wonderful world through my eyes…I am taking them all with me in my heart

This was not where I had thought I would go in this post, when I started…but Mr. P is experiencing his own day of grieving with the changes that my coming has evoked…not that either of us would want to change anything…just part of the process…

Remember the story of the boy who helped cut a butterfly out of its cocoon…

The butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.

It never was able to fly…

As the boy tried to figure out what had gone wrong his mother took him to talk to a scientist from a local college. He learned that the butterfly was SUPPOSED to struggle. In fact, the butterfly’s struggle to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly would never, ever fly…it is often our struggles that make us stronger.”