Atomic Habits…a book written by James Clear is one of the best books that I have read on the importance of tiny habits making a dramatic difference in our lives…
I saw my dietician last Friday…three days ago…I had gained some since I first saw her in February…but now I am in a different place…more aware of the emotional components in this process…I am so proud of myself.. I started the program the next day…not waiting and gorging all weekend till Monday morning…which is a first for me (a very good sign)
She has a different approach than I have been programmed to believe is the answer…she believes in a lifestyle of healthy eating…not a dieting mindset…Focusing on behavior…not just on diet…
Taking the time to make permanent changes to lifestyle…wanting to use the meal plan guide towards change…on practical lifestyle changes…Focusing on one thing at a time…identifying old habits and substituting new habits…aiming to follow the plan 80% of the time (the old 80/20 Rule)
“All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision. But as that decision is repeated, a habit sprouts and grows stronger. Roots entrench themselves and branches grow. The task of breaking a bad habit is like uprooting a powerful oak within us. And the task of building a good habit is like cultivating a delicate flower one day at a time.”
To lose weight at approximately +/- 1 kg (2.2 lbs.) a week…my Total Average Energy Prescription (for my Height/Bone Mass etc. is 4,500 Kj (it is still difficult thinking in metric versus imperial) 🤔
Daily Portion Distribution:
Carbohydrate (Starches) (4)
Protein (7)
Fat (4)
Fruit (1)
Vegetables (at least 3-5) Most vegetables are ‘free’ food items and should fill 1/2 the plate
Non diet goals is to try and exercise at mínimum 3 times a week …choosing something that I enjoy and is sustainable…
Back to learning how to navigate life all over again…the spiritual, physical, and mental without overwhelming myself in small sustainable steps…I’m not very good at that…the changing life gradually and in an integrated style…but, heah…I’ve tried everything else…and what’s the definition of insanity😂…doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results…
I have a goal…to traverse the mountain and reach the healthy goal of being at my optimum weight for me…but now I must develop the system that will take me there…
A lot of people want to lose weight (the same goal) …but the ones that achieve that goal are the ones that are consistent with their system…daily habits with small consistent improvements…the Japanese have a word for this “Kaizen”…”change for the better” or “continuous improvement”…
Today, I exercised…but only 10 minutes of yoga and 15 minutes (1 mile) of walking…that’s one system that I want to be consistent in…it makes my day so much better when I begin the morning with movement…
What system do you need to develop to meet your goal…to cross your mountain? May I suggest…read James Clear’s book or at least the summary…it’s lifechanging…or it was for me…
Small changes are sustainable…continual improvement…small changes with love…becoming the alchemists’ of our own lives…spinning the straw of humanity into gold threads of love for ourselves and others…
I always want to scale any mountainoous goal in one great swope…I should have learned by now…a hard head sometimes…stubborn as can be…standing at the bottom…running and trying to get off the ground with wings of frail wishes sown together… sustained flight upward doomed to failure…so here I am walking slowly…but forward…step by step…day by day…
It is much less exhausting…and more joyful…yes, I stub my toes…pick pebbles out of my sandals now and then…even fall into some dark deep chasms …but less painful than falling from the sky…less pieces to pick up and put back together…get help and support, if needed…and keep on… going on…
Always trying to fix myself is such an anguishing endeavor…and it robs me of each precious moment of life…tethering my line is critical to releasing that stress…creating an anchor point…repetition being the key…”stitch by stitch”…
Our brains only seem able to hardwire one new habit at a time…and “big” towering changes such as losing an enormous, colossus, immense amount of weight is weighty and overwhelming …we get frustrated with not seeing any significant changes…we lose desire and interest in working toward attaining the mountain of a goal…
My brain loses interest quickly…so what is the solution…miniature goals..small attainable goals that achievement feels effortless and routinely…every time that we achieve those itty bitty readily attainable goals (say walk 30 minutes 5x a week)..we get this dopamine rush (the feel-good hormone)… and adrenaline ( the energy hormone)… creating an upward wind draft where we feel motivated and have the energy to achieve more…kinda cool, right
This achievement of smaller incremental goals will create a synergy of dopamine and adrenaline in the brain associated with the behavior that will enable us to ride this wave in a positive upward spiral of repetition over time…
A win-win …Walking (any exercise)producing its own rewards…”Exercise reduces levels of the body’s stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. It also stimulates the production of endorphins, chemicals in the brain .reducing stress https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/exercising-to-relax“..
First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not.
Octavia Butler
I have a goal of walking and/or exercising 6 days a week…Afterall, even Godrested one day…10, 15 or 30 minutes…if nothing else is attainable for the day…I walk the dog and the husband😄…with an added benefit is being in nature…and finding flowers to take photographs of…
We have done this for several years and it is a critical component in scaling this mountain…an anchoring habit…
Eating the same breakfast has made the journey less stressful…not having to think about what to eat…I know what keeps me satiated longer…a small variety of fruit that I keep in the house for me…I eat only 1 fruit a day…dinner has more variety to alleviate the boredom…and I am not usually in a rush to do or be somewhere…
Tracking what I eat daily…keeps me aware…
Work in progress…creating the habit of depending on my team…the nutritionist…the trainer…my friends and biggest supporter and fan Mr. P…there are challenging times…deep crevices that I have (and may) fall into…they are my anchors to keep me from falling deeper…to stop the fall as soon as possible and pull me out when I can’t seem to help myself…
“All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision. But as that decision is repeated, a habit sprouts and grows stronger. Roots entrench themselves and branches grow. The task of breaking a bad habit is like uprooting a powerful oak within us. And the task of building a good habit is like cultivating a delicate flower one day at a time.”
*The best book on creating habits that I would suggest is Atomic Habits written by James Clear…if you were only going to read one book, this should be it…just a personal recommendation
Stitch by stitch…step by step…I will reach the goal…here’s to enjoying the journey…much love, laughter, and magic for your day❣
That’s the name of a book that I am reading…You’re Not Broken: 5 Steps to Become Superconscious and Activate Your Magic By Christopher Michael Duncan
Yet, I have felt broken most of my life…not the broken into pieces that you can pretend look like diamonds… the ugly destruction that feels irreparable…
JUST PUT A LOCK ON THE DOOR
And I did…locked myself in and everyone else out…I would peek through the cracks of broken places and see the world happy and full of pretty lives…but I knew that that the world was dangerous…full of lions and tigers and all kinds of monsters that ate your soul… only in my solitude could I even have the remotest possibility of being able to guard myself from further devastating damage and pain…
“There are many things I don’t know, but quite a few I do. I know you can’t be lost if you know where you are. I know that life is full of precious and fragile things, and not all of them are pretty. I know that the sun follows the moon and makes days, one after another. Time passes. The world turns, and we turn with it, and though we can never go back to the beginning, sometimes, we can start again.”
Megan Hart
I bled for many years…that slow drip that allows you to stay alive but ever so slowly drains the life from your very soul…no band aids or special glue to hold the shattered parts together… so pulverized that even the faintest breeze blew part of my heart somewhere where I could not retrieve it…
The pieces can be put back together…over time…I found a piece here and then another piece there…someone would come along and hand me a piece that they had found…with the help of other broken people… I have been slowly putting myself together…like beautiful broken pieces that make up a mosaic ……there are still missing pieces but there is a reemerging design…to give other people a vision to know that there is beauty that can be created out of the trash and destruction of past hopes, dreams, and lives…
I still sometimes feel sorry for myself that I must keep crawling around on hands and knees in the grey dinginess of past destruction…looking for the pieces that are still not there…
When I started thinking about this week’s writing…I thought I knew what I wanted to share…my photography blog is less profound but here I wanted to be a bit more reflective…in the hopes that there might be even one person that might feel they are not alone in their struggles…I have no answers…everyone’s path is different…I am not a doctor or psychologist…but I can walk beside you…maybe shine a light so you can see the step ahead with hope…it is one step at a time…sometimes it is the proverbial two steps forward and one step back…I’ve even rolled completely down the hill to start all over again😂..
When you feel that you can’t breathe another breath…just hold on…one more second…one more inhale…one more exhale…
“Beneath the rust and grime which dulls the shine of our weathered hearts, joy patiently waits to be rediscovered” ― John Mark Green
There is one door that stays locked no matter what I do that I feel contains a key to more freedom and happiness…anything from my past that can still control me limits my freedom…while we are on this earthly journey…I believe that we will always have lessons to learn and ways to grow…that’s what we are here for…
That’s how this feels…I unlock one and I find ten more rusted locks behind that one…
Because of where I have come from and the beautiful life that is being unfolded…with every ounce of my being…I know that there is an opening to this conundrum…but it’s getting old …this not finding an answer…
Addiction involves craving for something intensely, loss of control over its use, and continuing involvement with it despite adverse consequences. Addiction changes the brain, first by subverting the way it registers pleasure and then by corrupting other normal drives such as learning and motivation. Although breaking an addiction is tough, it can be done
So, the truth is that I have an addiction that has controlled my life for over 30 years…it was a gradual dark demon that grew as circumstances continued to become overwhelming to the point that I would have taken my life…I had no control over anything…and two children that depended on me and the life that I lived …
“I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life, reputation, and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.”
Edgar Allan Poe
My addiction is not alcohol…nor narcotics…gambling…compulsive shopping…smoking…stimulates or sedatives…approval is another one…although it would be such an easy switch…and a few beckoned most beguilingly and ensnared me for a brief time… never released its tendrils…only like a python…wrapping itself around me and crushing my hopes and dreams of being free…slowly squeezing tighter as I exhaled… my addiction is respectable...FOOD…do I sense some disappointment that it is not something that is considered more detrimental to a human’s well-being…
“Sugar, for example, shares the same neurochemistry and neural pathways as cocaine. Sweetened chocolate mimics the effects of alcohol and opiates. Flour modulates moods and anaesthetizes pain just as many drugs do.” ― Vera Tarman
It is as life threatening as any other substance that is addictive…our brain works the same…the same thought process that make us screw up day-after-day…time-after-time…yet, unlike alcohol addicts…we cannot totally alleviate the drug that keeps us locked in that suffocating cage…we cannot stop taking the tiger out of the cage or walk out with the door open…the tiger just comes with us… Three times a day we must face the fact that it will never be an all-or-nothing type of recovery…perfection will never be attainable…
“The brain chemistry that drives the addict to seek pleasure beyond the point of satiety is similar, whether the user favours Jack Daniels or Jack-in-the-Box.” ― Vera Tarman, Food Junkies: The Truth About Food Addiction
I have tried picking many of the locks on this cage door…studying for years the causes and tried every solution…spent enough money on hopeful solutions repeatedly that someone in the billion-dollar diet industry was able to have bought a Mercedes or a house or two…
So why am I sharing this gut-wrenching story…so much as changed in my life…I have support and love…cleared debris from emotional wounds that need to be healed first before I could even see beneath the weeds to get at the locks…
Am I scared…beyond any comprehension…to put out into the public arena to be judged…for something that I have failed at so many times at…it is no longer to maintain beauty and the beckoning siren’s call of the feminine body that lures…although not an undesired art of the outcome…
Aging has its own definition of beauty…not the same one that we whip ourselves with when we are younger…healthy…energy and vitality are the important outcomes that I am looking to attain…
And releasing that python grip on my body, heart and mind…
I was blessed to be able to release fifty pounds 2 years ago through low carb, intermittent fasting and a great deal of exercising…but it was very strenuous…and too difficult as an HSP…I was not able to maintain the momentum…but now I must unlock the rest of the cage to be able to walk free of the bonds…maybe a struggle the balance of my life…but hopefully more manageable to stay out of the cage…There is so much left to see, do, and share…why would I not keep trying to conquer this addiction in order to experience the gifts that I have been handed…
This is for me a spiritual journey…most things are deeper than just the manifestation of physical symptom’s…the feelings of unworthiness… The feelings and emotions…finding ways to find joy and pleasure outside of food…letting go of my crutch…my friend…and embracing the love I now have in my life… Delayed gratification…so many threads…
This is part of these writings…definitely not all…there is so much beauty and my heart is filled with gratitude and joy for my life…I am blessed beyond measure…now I am opening and repairing that locked room in my soul that I may experience more and share that joy and abundance with others…
Natural effervescence…Diamonds in the Sea
Sending love, joy, laughter, and plenty of sparkling magic for your day…you are loved more than you know❣
Threads of Thought 