Paw Prints on Our Hearts🐾

It’s 5 o’clock and I catch myself waiting to hear the clicking of her toenails as she abruptly skids into the kitchen…asking for her dinner…but there is only the silence…Mr. P thought he caught a glimpse of her in when he was working in the garden…she loved being outdoors

No banal platitudes or trite quotes…words feel meaningless or at least extremely inadequate at the moment…with an inability to convey the heaviness and tumultuous of emotions…

Summerstrand, PE

Arriving in South Africa in July 2019…often I felt lost and alone in a place where everything was unfamiliar and devoid of family and old friends to hold unto…Mr. P and the lady Whiskey were my saving grace…

…when I arrived here last year…she & I started out with a common bond being two old ladies…well, I should say…just more mature…with bum left hips🤣…when Mr. P would go to work…I talked or cried…and she listened…and she understood…we became inseparable…where ever I went…she followed and laid down beside me to keep me company…it was as if she knew that it was her job…she was my friend…

Mr. P was of course her first love…her alpha…she had been with the family for almost 15 years…he trained her…took her for her favorite walks…she really adored him❤ and he loved her❣

Two worlds swirled together…creating a love that doesn’t make a lick of sense to the rational part of our brain…but somehow it touches the dreamy and devoted parts…our heart…and that is where she’ll always be…

…I wish she could have stayed just a little while longer…at least until Mr. P completed the chemo…and I think that she tried…when she ran limping down the hall her last morning to say good morning and give her love greeting…

People (and Pets🐾) come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty…

To provide you with guidance and support…

To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually…

They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die…

Sometimes they walk away…

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand….

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled…

Their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has now been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON.

Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons.

Things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life…

Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime

–Unknown author

Most everyone and everything in our lives is often transitory…and life is brief…with your whole being…embrace the sweetness of life…and even the pain for it teaches and imbues with wisdom (if we let it)…fill each moment with gratitude, passion and purpose…forgive, forget and release each transgression quickly… relentlessly pursue joy…and never bypass a moment to express your love…

Prayers that your day will be filled with love, much laughter and the magic of life.

Day 188…A Black Raggedy Thread

“Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.”


“This is not a sweet skein of thought. Unthread it, Rachel.”
― Emma Richler, Be My Wolff

Just when I think it is all coming along just beautifully…I come across a black dangley and raggedy thread that is so distracting that I can’t see anything else…an ugly thread in my life that seems to threaten everything and especially the happiness…

…and it is just not me that can see this black repulsive thread…for most of us do not live in seclusion…and the threads that run through our lives also are integrated into the life weaving’s of the people who are often the most near and loved by us…

I cannot wave my magic wand and remove this thread from my life…it is part of the very core tapestry of my life…woven strong…and deep…That thing that deforms my beautiful life? It really, really, really shouldn’t have happened. But. It. Did…now I can choose to stop weaving with that particular piece of thread…

…the first prick of the needle…and the next…creating this insidious and unbeautiful…far reaching consequences…across a lifespan…my lifespan…

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…I didn’t see it as black…just this ugly gray shade of green…labeled jealousy…this beguiling… treacherous and ever eroding emotion…

Mr. P’s daughter came to stay with us for an extended period of time…something that I didn’t envision having to deal with so early in our relationship…and oh my…was I definitely not prepared to feel so much of an upheaval…

Our relationship…although not perfect…like the two people involved…was such a beautiful thing…my life had been so idyllic the last few months…each day a little better than the last…as we enjoyed our time together…

I was prepared to do the best I could…to be as loving and supportive…to slowly draw her in with gentleness and care…to be as accepting of his children as I want him to be with mine…

Uggg…and then…Life decided that I should have another pop quiz…without even a whisper of warning… and the thread starting popping out and I kept tripping over it…I would tuck it in…and it would pop out again…

What made me so jealous…everything…Mr. P is a caring and loving Father…and all the ways that he treats her is not anything that I ever experienced…and then I remembered…my Father was abusive mentally and physically…and that is just the little that I remember…

I thought that I had it all tucked away…clean and neat…having forgiven him and moved on…but the thread of pain and hurt popped up in way that I could not have predicted…

“Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

…when I was a young teenager…about 12 or 13…my Father decided that he needed to physically punish me…not for anything that I had done…but to remove “his” demons…my worth was only to be used for his twisted needs…not because I was loved just for who I was…and the blood drips…

Mr. P’s deep love, care and connection with his daughter…felt like a dagger into the very depth of my soul…but I was not seeing it for what it was…manifesting itself as the monster…

Being aware is for me is the beginning…releasing…again…and again…the pain of a lost childhood…no loving Father…there is no quick and easy answer…every day demands meditative prayer and gratitude …

Even though it brings with it pain…I am thankful for having been able to see it within myself…for it could have easily destroyed the new and fragile love that is being cultivated…I can now feel and not become reactive to those emotions…and I will heal…

King Protea: South Africa’s National Flower
Dormant buds survive wildfires to Emerge Once Again

I will sit with the fire of pain…knowing that I will come out stronger and I too will bloom again…